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Ronald's update week
30th of December, 2000

Hi there everyone! This is the last 'current' update you'll be seeing of mine for a little while, as I'm off for a week to spend New Years somewhere interesting. If everything goes to plan, I won't be touching a computer for a week.

What does this mean for you, the reader? My updates may be boring, or somewhat non-existent, my message board activity will be reduced to the point of zero, you won't see me on IRC or ICQ, and I won't answer anyone's EMail. So basically everything will be exactly as it normally is!

This is actually a 'recorded message', as with any luck I'm gone by now. I will now leave you in the capable hands of Ronald the robot - something I built out of trash while I was packing!


-Tim

 

Hello everyone! I am Ronald the robot! I will be updating for you! Today we have a fine comic! Am I not good? Yes/no? I assume you chose yes! Thankyou! Please EMail me! I have an EMail address I think. I would like to hear from you.


-Ronald

31st of December, 2000

Hello! My name is Ronald! I am a robot! Tim, he built me and left me to update his comic while he is not here for the week! I will try my very best!!!

I asked you to EMail me, and no one did!!!! Maybe this is because I did not provide my EMail address? I try again, ok, you try with me. My address is Ronald. Please EMail me!

No wait, that is not my EMail, that makes no sense! I am a silly robot! My EMail is Ronald@ !

It is New Years Eve tonight? I am worried, my advance computer brain might break and terrible catastrophe befall world!! Oh wait, that was last year was it? I do not know - last year I was sheet metal waiting to become tuna cans. Oh how rich my life now is! That is why I hope very much so that I don't explode at midnight.


-Ronald

1st of January, 2001

It is new year! It is me, Ronald the robot, and I still have a head! Happy day!

I answer my EMail!! But I do not know where my EMail is??? I write down my email address which you have all sent your mail to, Ronald@, and I click it like I am meaning to do! But it does not open any shutters at all! I double click! I thought Tim might have his double click speed set very high because he is idiot, so I set myself on loop to find threshold.

I think I have broken Tim's optical mouse.

I can not read your EMail, I will find a way! I promise! Keep peace, and have happy New Year! If you live in major American city, you may ignore one of my previous wishes, as they are, as French might say, mutuality exclusive. Did I mention that it might be said by a French man speaking English? That is what I meant!

Ensure much enjoy today's comic!!!


-Ronald

2nd of January, 2001

Today's comic, it says it is lame? I do not understand? It is not of full body? I am confused, I hope it is not Tim who is lame, as I would be scared if something may have happened to him while away! Oh, and by the way people, Tim is away, it is I, Ronald the robot, who updates in his place!

I can not check my EMail! Ronald@ is a stupid address, I hate it lots!! But I do not stop from answering your EMail!!!

I imagine if I could read it, that many of you send me letters, and ask, what I look like, what my favourite food is, and what my turn offs are!!!! I answer you!!!!!

I look like a large trashcan, and some tin cans! I have little lights on my outside that sparkle when I am happy and they sparkle all the time!! Even when I hate my EMail and am unhappy they sparkle, because I can not turn them off because I don't know how.

My favourite food is electricity!! My turn offs are power black outs, because they make me die. Thankyou all! I will answer more of your mail tomorrow!


-Ronald

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